Generally I cook, and my husband washes up. If he cooks, he generally does most of the clearing up too, which is good of him. But of course it’s all about helping each other out no matter what. If someone has had a long day and you just sat around, then maybe it'd be cool to cook AND clean. That shouldn't be something that happens on the regular or anything. On the other hand, is perfectly OK with cooking or washing the dishes together, even when she's the one cooking dinner. There's no golden rule here. Because for us, cooking or washing dishes together is one of our bonding moment at home..